Sunday, February 12, 2017

Reflections at 33

I turned 33 last month. In fact I'm writing this the day after my birthday, which I spent in York and which I'll blog about in a second. My friend Gillian found this photo of us from our college leavers' ball in the summer of 2002. I just looked at it for a while, because I remember being so miserable that day. Lee couldn't go to the ball with me because it was only for students of my 6th form, and I didn't love my dress. My mum made it for me - the bottom of the skirt had elephants on it! Totally gorgeous. The fabric came from Bombay Stores in Bradford which is one of my favourite places on earth, and although I liked the dress I didn't LOVE it.

Our friend Michelle couldn't go to the ball as she hadn't got a ticket in time, and I just didn't have that great of a night. I'm just not the type of person who likes that kind of thing. And that's fine! We don't all like the same stuff. I wasn't really happy in myself at that age. I'd had a lot going on throughout my childhood and my teen years, and I was really self-conscious and quite unhappy.

And while I don't want to make out like there's been some magnificent transformation over the past fifteen years which means that I'm no longer ever sad or anxious or depressed, I am a lot happier in myself now. I have the strength of my convictions and am more or less content with my life and myself right now.

This photo was taken on my 18th birthday, six months before the photo above which is bonkers because I look a lot older here. We had a joint birthday/engagement party and it was lovely. Lee looks so young here but I swear he was 19 and a half! I loved my outfit this night - a purple top and skirt and some black strappy shoes even though it was January. I recently went through all my shoes and I still have them in a box and would never get rid of them even though I'd never wear them anymore either! 

But, fifteen years later here I am, still smiling, much stronger and still in love with Lee. He's the best; I'm so glad we've grown up together. 

33 suits me just fine so far, I think. I'm improving with age! 

No comments:

Post a Comment