Writing, fatshion, me: December 2nd

So, this is probably going to be a bit of a weird post, but it's a very weird time, and I do use this blog as a diary so I want to write this.

On the first weekend of December I had planned to see Sam and Jac in York, where Jac lives. We had a few things planned. It had to be that weekend because Sam was going to Malaysia just a little while afterwards. I think I mentioned that her mum died in September; well she and her dad were going to see her mum's family in Malaysia to scatter her mum's ashes. So it had to be that weekend. We had decided to do some pottery painting in York in the morning as we enjoyed it way back in February, and then we were going to chill out at Jac's, and on the Sunday we were going to do some other festive stuff in the city centre and have some lunch before saying goodbye to each other. However, Jac was then poorly, so we decided to just do the pottery painting and then have some lunch before we each went home so she could rest and feel better. So that's what we did.

I parked near Jac's and got the bus into town with her. We walked across York and met up with Sam on the way. I fell over and really shook myself up and banged my hands and knees but fortunately I wasn't more hurt. I thought that would be the worst thing that happened that day, too. We went to Bish Bash Pot for 11 o'clock. It's a cute little place with plenty of pieces to choose to paint. We decided we would paint one piece for each other as Christmas presents. I chose a Christmas tree for Jacqui and a lighthouse for Sam. I also painted a little house for myself.

I had a hot chocolate and a really amazing triple chocolate brownie while we were painting. It took longer than we thought and by 1.15 I sort of finished the house for me in a total rush - I am certain it will look rubbish! We had to rush because we had booked a table for lunch in basically the next building along. It's called Khao San and it's Thai tapas! Sam went along while Jac and I were finishing up, and then we went along too. We ordered a bunch of dishes and shared them, and they were all delicious.

I was wearing one of my old Scarlett & Jo prom dresses - I think it might actually be one of my original ones and I've had it about ten years. I wore sparkly tights and this new zebra print cardigan that I got recently from Simply Be. It was so cold so I needed a lot of layers!

Jac and I said goodbye to Sam around 3pm and Jac and I waited for a bus back to hers. However, thanks for York Christmas traffic it took forty minutes to come, by which time we were absolutely frozen and I was in pain as I had walked a long way and I had fallen over and then I had been standing for ages waiting for the bus. But I was okay, and I got into my car around 4.30pm. I drove home and when I got home I got undressed and got into bed for a bit because I was still cold and wanted to lie down. Lee was lying with me and we were talking, and it was all good.

Then Sarah texted me to tell me that her husband Tom had collapsed. And then just a bit later, she texted to tell me that he had actually died. I couldn't believe it, and four days later, I still can't believe it. Tom was one of the nicest people I had ever met, and he loved Sarah and their little girl so much. I won't say more, but it was completely unexpected, which totally blindsides people. I am really grateful for all the time I got to spend with Tom and I am so glad that Sarah had him in her life.

I just totally went into shock. This often happens when I am actually shocked - my body starts to shake, my teeth chatter, and I drop really cold. I rang my mum and asked her and my stepdad to come over, which fortunately they were able to do. They stayed until around 9pm which really helped me. I spoke to Sarah briefly. I have lived a lot of grief and I know she has a tough road ahead of her - but I also know I'll be behind her every step of the way to support her.

It is absolutely shit in the meantime, though.

Here's my photos from before the day went sideways, though.